Dating a Nigerian woman may unclog one's toilet

Guelord Whippersnapper’s Crappy Romance Scam

The initial spam email starts off as a ridiculous romance scam letter saying that I was found on facebook (Check for yourself. There is no Guelord Whippersnapper on any social media site)

This turns out to be a poor orphan trying to escape her fate by sharing a fortune (Doh). I thought that Guelord (Poindexter’s son) would like to meet a nice African girl. Maybe he can find love and happiness while selling her a toilet or two.

Do I hear wedding bells?

From: Blessings , To Guelord Whippersnapper

Hello My Dearest,
My name is Miss Blessing, I came across your profile on facebook as i was searching for good friend, A friend who truly understand his or her friend and share their feelings together. please kindly accept my request, I believe that distance can never be a barrier but let?love connect us because love is a bridge that connected far distance to beclose to each other. I will send my pictures to you immediately i receive your reply.(blessingbabygirl@hotmail.com )
Yours, Miss.Blessing

From: Guelord Whippersnapper , To Blessings

Hi ,
I am so happy that you wrote me. I am a very handsome man, as you can see

An alternate picture of Guelord Whippersnapper
This is a picture of Guelord Whippersnapper

from my picture. Where are you from? Can I have a picture of you? Also, so I know that this is not a trick, can you hold up a sign with my name?

Thank you,
Guelord Whippersnapper from Whippersnapper’s Crappers inc.

 

From: Blessings , To Guelord Whippersnapper

Hello My Dearest One
Good Day Once Again! How are you today? I hope that you are fine and also in… Blah blah blah Read the rest of this crap here if you dare

Photo used by 419 scammer under the name Mrs. Blessing
One of two photos send by a 419 Nigerian Scammer. The Name used was Blessing Jammeh
The second image sent by a 419 dating scammer
I would have chosen a prettier woman with a smaller butt. This is Mrs. Blessing Jemmeah a romance scammerFrom: Gersnapper , To Blessings

Usually Romance scammers choose of very beautiful women in bikinis. I don’t know what to say about this one. Anyway, to each his own

 

 

Blessings somehow discovers that her new boyfriend is a bit of a pshacho. I don’t think she’ll care. True love means so much more then that..

Guelord, To: Blessings

That is really good to know that you are having trouble. If you get killed I may feel bad for a couple of seconds. Anyway, I miss you very much. I spend the nights dreaming of you and can’t wait to see you so I can have sex with your dead body. I know you need help and I would love to give it to you. Please let me know anything you need.Did you have a chance to think about my crappers? They are very good and I will give you, my friend, a special discount.

I love you,

Capt. Guelord Whippersnapper of Whippersnapper’s Crappers PhD

 

From: Blessings , To Guelord Whippersnapper

My Dearest One,

Thank you for your concerns and Kindness towards this my empty life and please i will like you to understands more that,my life over here in Senegal is…

Read the rest

She is an orphan who has a lot of money so she needs my money so I can get her out so she can give me money. Wow, and I didn’t believe in “her”

From: Guelord Whippersnapper , To Blessings

My sweetheart,
I long for the day that I lay next to your cold dead body. Picturing you lifeless next to me really turns me on. I miss you and the only thing I am missing in life is your sexy corpse.

I love you

Wow, after that last email, I am still her dear. Isn’t love grand? Too bad it’s another god damned cut and paste email.

From: Blessings , To Guelord Whippersnapper

My Dear.

It’s my pleasure to write you this mail thank you once more for your love and concern towards an orphan like me i so much appreciate your feelings towards….

I think she wanted me to send money to the bank or something. Yes, you are not the only that doesn’t really read spam mail. Time to try to sell her some toilets

From: Guelord Whippersnapper , To Blessings

Yes tootsie,

I sent it to the bank. Now, I have to ask, when is the last time you had a good

Genuine Whippersnapper Crapper
A genuine Whippersnapper Crapper. With Poindexter on the top and the Nigerian Code of Honor on the “Bottom”

crap? In the orphanage do they have good crappers? I sell a whole line of crappers for any ass and budget. This week we have on special the Super Pooper. It is sure to please those with a really large butt or it also works for couples. Get close to your loved one while cleaning out your bowels.

Ftr. Gulord Whipprsnappr of Whipprsnapper’s Crappers can.

 

Ah, finally she starts to ask about my toilets. She is my kind of girl

From: Blessings , To Guelord Whippersnapper

My Dear,

Good afternoon,How are you over there hope you are fine?My Dear thanks for your mail and please i don’t understand what you mean by i should tell you “least time i have a good crap here in orphanage”please i want to know tell me what you mean bye this waiting for your urgent reply Bye and take care.
From Blessing.

From: Guelord Whippersnapper , To Blessings

 

I am glad to hear that you want to know about our crappers. Having a good toilet is very important to our hygiene. Also, comfort is very important as well. At Whippersnapper’s Crappers we keep both in mind at a price you can afford. Don’t take a crap the old fashion way. Get yourself a Whippersnapper Crapper. Your Mummy will be happy crappy!

Rev. Guelord Whippersnapper of Whippersnapper’s Crappers SSI.

Guelord’s father Poindexter (I know, I am not very good at choosing bullshit names) to really pour on the sales pitch and get his son married one and for all

From: Poindexter Whippersnapper , To Blessings

Dear Miss Blessing,

My son told me that he was seeing you and sent me your pictures. You are very pretty for an African woman, if I may say so. He also told me that you are interested in buying toilet supplies for the orphanage where you work. I can help you there. Whippersnapper’s Crappers come with a full guarantee and you will be in love with the first flush.

Congratulations on the new relationship with my son and I hope you will sit on the throne whit his soon

Dr. Poindexter Whippersnapper of Whippersnapper’s Crappers Inn

From: Guelord Whippersnapper , To Blessings

Hello my dear blessing. I wanted to send you a new picture of my so you can hold it next to your heart; especially, when on the crapper (only if it is a Whippersnapper, of course)

Please send me some more pictures of you.

Handsome Guelord Whippersnapper

P.S. My father said he will write you about the crappers you want to order for the orphanage

From: Guelord Whippersnapper , To Blessings

Dear Blessing,

I finally got a good look at your pictures and I noticed that you have a really big ass. I love it. We also have some very large crappers that will fit your ass and your budget. Why not order today?

I love you,

Guelord

From: Guelord Whippersnapper , To Blessings

to Blessing
Remember: Sinks stink, Showers scour butt I think toilets empower!!!!

From: Guelord Whippersnapper , To Blessings

Why don’t you get out of that clown suit and off of that big ass and write something to me?

From: Blessings , To Guelord Whippersnapper

YOU ARE A BIG FOOL

From: Guelord Whippersnapper , To Blessings

Does this mean that you are breaking up with me? Does this mean that you won’t buy any of my crappers? And, most importantly, does this mean that I wasted your precious time? I certainly hope so.

Nevertheless, please accept this gift. It is what you would call the “big fool award” Or is it Muguin your language? Anyway, display it proudly. I suggest tattooing it on your mother’s ass so everyone in the village will be able to see it.

Always remember, that you have been crapped on by a Whippersnapper!

BTW, Don’t be surprised if you get many more of these awards in the future. You will never know it’s me until it’s too late 😉

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Duda

About the Author

About Thomas

Thomas Duda is a web designer who lives in Bakersfield, CA with his wife and dogs. He is also interested in: Blogging, Writing, Vaping, Fishing, Swimming and Drawing.

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